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tv   Late Night With Jimmy Fallon  NBC  March 21, 2012 12:35am-1:35am EDT

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>> let's hear you!
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>> jay: all righty.
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>> steve: ladies and gentlemen, tebowie. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ tebow plays football passing good and praising jesus ♪ ♪ with the denver broncos he threw it left hand but his aim was bad he lost to new england ♪ ♪ guess god's a brady fan peyton was a colt screwed up neck and screwed their season ♪ ♪ spent a year on the bench and while he was sitting tim tebow was winning
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tebowing was a craze ♪ ♪ everything was going great and then came john elway and he kicked him right ♪ ♪ in his balls they replaced him with peyton tebow got screwed in the backdoor ♪ ♪ now he's a virgin no more oh ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ tebow prayed to god begging him to smite the mannings and find him a job ♪ ♪ just not on the lions but maybe the giants have him and eli switch oh payback is a bitch ♪ [ cheers ]
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♪ now i'm hearing trade rumors is it the dolphins or the jaguars ♪ ♪ but despite his messiah right now his career is dead but tebow will rise again oh ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ tebow played football [ cheers and applause ] >> announcer: from studio 6b in rockefeller center, the national broadcasting company presents -- tonight's guests are --
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and featuring the legendary roots crew. and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: well, that's what i'm talking about. that's a crowd! that is a crowd, right there. [ cheers and applause ] i love it. welcome to "late night," everybody. everybody -- everybody is talking about the 2012 presidential election. in fact, just last week, a tourist in puerto rico took a picture of rick santorum, shirtless on the beach. [ light laughter ]
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he did. i don't want to say he looked chubby, but his new secret service code name is "newt gingrich." [ laughter ] that's right. rick santorum was seen lying on the beach without his shirt on. he would have worn sunscreen but, you kn0w, he's not really into protection. so, he -- [ laughter and applause ] let it burn. [ cheers and applause ] hey, this isn't good, you guys. disney will lose $200 million on its new movie, "john carter," about a civil war soldier on mars. [ laughter ] disney could tell that they were gonna lose lots of money when they realized they made a movie about a civil war soldier on mars. [ laughter and applause ] that's when they realized -- listen to this, you guys. "the view" co-host sherri shepherd is denying that she cheated on "dancing with the stars" by taking dance classes before the show started. yeah. [ audience ohs ]
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it's raising a lot of questions, like, "who gives a crap?" [ laughter ] one of the questions is, "who cares?" hey, check this out. i was just reading that the sales of typewriters are up this year. come on, that is ridiculous. i mean, people haven't used typewriters for like -- [ laughter and applause ] like 50 years! [ laughter ] worth it? not really. there you go. [ laughter ] told ten jokes with an abacus down my pants. [ laughter and applause ] that's a first. is anyone here from "the guinness book of world records"? did i just break a record? most jokes told with an abacus down my pants? [ laughter ] hey, this is cool, you guys. "the hunger games." yeah. [ cheers and applause ] they'll be on later this week. "the hunger games" is expected to make $130 million at the box
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office this weekend. whoa. experts say the movie has that one quality you look for in a film. it's not about a civil war soldier on mars. [ laughter and applause ] nothing to do with that at all. [ applause ] hey, i just saw this. the smithsonian has a new exhibit dedicated to the history of video games. >> audience member: woo! >> jimmy: yeah. yeah, the weird part is when you try to climb up the stairs to see it, donkey kong starts throwing barrels at you, so you gotta -- [ laughter ] jump over it. [ scattered applause ] get this. a bakery in california has a new atm that dispenses fresh cupcakes. finally, answering the question, "what is the saddest possible way to celebrate your birthday?" [ laughter and applause ] "i'll just have one." [ laughter ] and, finally, a man in florida was arrested after he took his
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clothes off while doing karaoke at an applebee's. [ laughter ] it was easy for the audience to join in singing. they just followed the bouncing ball. [ laughter ] we have a great show tonight! give it up for the roots! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ it's four am and my lover won't answer he's probably somewhere with a dancer ♪ ♪ sippin' champagne while i'm in his bed ♪ ♪ it's four am and i think i might lose it this man must be thinkin' i'm stupid ♪ ♪ he must've bumped his head don't he know it's four am ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's right. that is grammy-winning singer melanie fiona, sitting in with the roots tonight! [ cheers and applause ] ah, beautiful. gorgeous. her new album, "the mf life," is in stores today. you look gorgeous. this album has got guest appearances. has nas, drake, john legend,
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b.o.b., everyone. who's not on the album? >> you. >> jimmy: that's right. i gotta do it. we gotta get tebowie up in there. >> amen. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it is a great record. thank you. thanks for coming back. >> thanks for having me. >> jimmy: i appreciate you being here. you guys, before we get started, i want to remind everyone that this saturday night, i'm going to be on facebook. [ cheers ] that's not the story. wait, it gets better. [ laughter ] but i'm going to be interviewing -- it's not just me on facebook, no. [ laughter ] i will be on facebook. i'm gonna be interviewing the one and only madonna. [ cheers and applause ] her new album, "mdna" is out next tuesday, march 26th. and this is the only interview -- the only live press that she's doing for this record. with me, yeah. [ cheers and applause ] she'll be taking questions from the fans -- from you guys, right over facebook. the whole thing's gonna broadcast live around the world, starting at 6:30 pm eastern this saturday night. go to for more information or just go to facebook, right? [ cheers and applause ] should be fun. it's this saturday.
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big news. i'm gonna be on facebook this weekend. we got a big show tonight. gosh, i love everyone on the show tonight. a great actor, a great guy. "mad men's" jon hamm is here! [ cheers and applause ] tall drink of water. we love jon hamm. also on the show, a hilarious comedian and such a good actress. rachael harris is back on "late night." [ cheers and applause ] she's gorgeous, funny. and we got some music. all the twitters excited about this guy. marcus foster is gonna be here tonight! [ cheers and applause ] it's gonna be a wild, crazy show tonight, you guys. i don't know if you guys saw this on friday, but i went on "the tonight show with jay leno" and i -- jay and i did something called "cabbage bowling" for st. patrick's day, yeah. yeah. [ scattered cheers ] you just bowl frozen cabbage and you knock over leprechauns. porcelain leprechauns. you know, the game. [ light laughter ]
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so, jay was like -- [ as jay leno ] "ah, the winner gets this great trophy --" or something. or whatever. [ light laughter ] i said, "a trophy's okay, but let's -- let's make things a little juicier." so i made a bet. i said the loser has to wear a fake mustache during the -- during monday night's monologue on -- on either show, okay? and i said -- and here's the deal. you're not allowed to tell the audience why you're wearing a mustache. [ laughter ] and he's like -- [ as jay leno ] "well -- this trophy thing." i go, "no, no, no. mustache. we gotta do it." and he's like, "all right, whatever." he was so cocky and confident. guess who won? [ cheers and applause ] me! ♪ that's right. [ cheers and applause ] i won. and here's what went down on "the tonight show" last night. ♪ >> hey, how many still recovering from st. patrick's day? [ cheers and applause ] how many plan to keep on
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drinking right through spring break? i'm just -- [ cheers and applause ] president obama's approval rating has fallen to a new low. that's not good. [ light laughter ] well, congratulations to mitt romney. he won the republican primary in puerto rico. >> jimmy: he did the whole monologue like that. [ cheers and applause ] he was going nuts. watch! he did the whole monologue like this. watch. >> -- new ipad went on sale this week. everybone is talking about how great the retina display is. and it's true. the picture's so fantastic. you can see with amazing clarity just how obsolete the ipad you got for christmas is. [ laughter ] yeah, it's that -- it's that good. >> jimmy: you see that there? [ cheers and applause ] did you see that there? he's licking his mustache. look at him licking the mustache. [ laughter ] he loves it so much, he's licking the 'stache. [ laughter ] the fake mustache. he's so mad he's wearing this mustache during the monologue. god, that made me laugh so much and, i guess after the commercial break, he couldn't take it anymore. he just ripped it off. watch jay. >> ow! [ laughter ] fallon, your ass is mine. >> jimmy: there you go.
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[ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] i thought it -- i thought it looked great. he's a good sport. a man of his word. and i'm up for a rematch. next time, full beards, buddy. let's do this. [ cheers and applause ] hey, you guys, it's time to take a look at the stories making headlines today and weigh the good with the bad. it's time for "pros and cons." here we go! ♪ pros cons pros cons and pros ♪ >> jimmy: guys, tonight we'll be taking a look at the "pros and cons" of march madness. yeah. people got the march madness out there. [ cheers and applause ] the ncaa tournament's in full swing. everyone's got their brackets filled out. if you're a college basketball fan, this is as exciting as it gets. so let's take a look at the "pros and cons" of march madness. here we go. pro, it took two weeks for you to complete your bracket. [ light laughter ] con, it took two rounds for it to be completely wrong. [ laughter ]
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pro, for basketball fans, it's a chance to see tomorrow's stars today. con, for kardashians, it's a chance to see tomorrow's husbands today. [ laughter and applause ] got to keep your options open. pro, president obama filled out a bracket for march madness. con, vice president biden filled out a bracket for "dancing with the stars." [ laughter ] he's picking jaleel white to go all the way. pro, espn radio called lehigh university a true cinderella team after they beat duke. con, rush limbaugh called them a bunch of sluts. [ laughter ] i guess -- i guess he's a duke fan. [ applause ] pro, the field has currently been narrowed down to 16. con, so has the list of potential fathers of snooki's baby. [ cheers and applause ] i'm still in. i'm still in the tournament. my brackets are looking good. i think it's jaleel white. [ light laughter ]
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pro, painting your face, buying a keg of beer and inviting all of your friends over to root for your alma mater. con, then finding out the university of phoenix online doesn't have a basketball team. [ laughter and applause ] i thought i saw that in a commercial. i thought they said they got a great basketball team. i'll play for it. if the university of phoenix online wants a basketball team, i will start for you guys. [ laughter ] pro, for players, the end of each game is the most thrilling 30 seconds in college. con, for me, the most thrilling 30 seconds in college is when i lost my virginity. [ cheers and applause ] it was actually ten seconds. i cried the last twenty, but it still counts as -- [ laughter ] >> audience member: tebowie! >> jimmy: can't just yell "tebowie." what does that mean? [ laughter ] "tebowie!" [ laughter ]
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you don't even to yell it like that. i mean, i don't even know what that means. [ laughter ] "tebowie!" [ laughter ] that's not how you yell "tebowie." you go "tebowie!" [ cheers and applause ] >> audience member: tebowie! >> jimmy: that's better. [ laughter ] "tebowie!" [ laughter ] and finally, pro, this could be the most insane final four ever. con, besides this one. there you go. [ cheers and applause ] that is the "pros and cons." we'll be right back with more "late night," everybody. tebowie! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ashlee! ashlee! ashlee! ashlee! what were you looking for when you bought your edge? um, i was definitely looking for fuel economy. that's the whole reason we, we wanted to look at the ecoboost. can you talk a little bit about the style of the edge? um, well, i think it's very hip.
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i even have several guys were like "whoa, do have twenties on those". like, don't even know what that means, but i guess it's cool. (laugh) like our cajun inspired bourbon street chicken & shrimp. get one appetizer and two entrees for just 20 bucks. only at applebee's. now serving half-price appetizers late night. [ ryan ] for my clients, there's nothing like a fresh-cut style to add a spring to the step. but as time passes between cuts, split ends can make hair look frizzy and rough. so i recommend tresemmé's all-new split remedy line. three uses repairs up to eighty percent of split ends for a smooth finish. so your step stays lighter and your style looks fresher longer. get salon-polished, chair-worthy hair without the salon price. tresemmé. professional. affordable. 2:30 in the afternoon, a lot to do,
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[ male announcer ] hunger getting to you? grab a ritz crackerfuls. made with real cheese and whole grain, it'll help keep you satisfied until your next meal. get hunger before it gets you. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, very nice. our first guest starred in the oscar-nominated blockbuster, "bridesmaids," and currently in the critically acclaimed "friends with kids," which is in
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theaters right now. this sunday, however, he's back as don draper on the four-time emmy award-winning show "mad men," which returns to amc with a two-hour season premiere. give it up for our pal, jon hamm! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> powerful! wow! [ cheers and applause ] they love you. >> jimmy: they love you. >> they love you. >> jimmy: you came out -- you came out like a wwe wrestler. you just came out. that was intense. >> you got to own the space, jimmy. you got to own the space. >> jimmy: i don't know what that means at all. last time i saw you, buddy, we were at "snl." >> that was fun. >> jimmy: and that was fun. we did a -- we were in the monologue with lindsay lohan.
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>> little walk on. >> jimmy: we did a little walk on. >> a little surprise. >> jimmy: yeah, you didn't have to walk. >> i didn't. i did a sit on. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you were just sitting and they cut to you, yeah. but you've been -- man, you've been busy. >> busy. >> jimmy: congratulations, good stuff. >> it's a good problems. you know? it's a good kind of busy. >> jimmy: yeah, you got -- well, you also had the kardashian thing. that was not good problems. >> well, it's not really a problem, is it? >> jimmy: no, it's not. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] that's the way to look at it. you're right. "mad men" getting early great reviews. "friends with kids" -- we had your girlfriend, jennifer westfeldt, on. and she produced, wrote, directed -- >> produced, wrote, co-starred, directed -- >> jimmy: and this movie "friends with kids" -- >> creative force behind it. >> jimmy: and it's killing. people are loving it. >> it's doing really well. yeah, we're really excited. it's a small movie. it's playing on something, like, 1/50th of the screens that "the hunger games" will be on. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. still, it's there. >> it's a very hungry game. >> jimmy: yeah, it's very -- but it's -- but it's -- it's -- you have -- you have a lot of the cast of "bridesmaids" kind of in this movie. i know kristen's in it. maya -- >> it's a little mini reunion of sorts. yes. the movie couldn't be totally further away from "bridesmaids."
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although, it is very funny. but yeah, we have kristen, maya, chris o'dowd, me -- >> jimmy: yeah. [ cheers and applause ] that's the best part. that's the best. that is just great. when you get out there and just -- >> yeah, it's a great group and we had such a fun time working together on "bridesmaids", we were like, "let's play two." let's do it again. >> jimmy: let's do it. why not? yeah, exactly. but i would say "mad men" -- people are going nuts. people are going bonkers on the streets. people just ripping each other's eyeballs out. [ laughter ] they want to see -- they want them to hear -- >> don't do that. >> jimmy: no, they just want to -- >> please don't do that. >> jimmy: they don't even want to watch it. they want to hear "mad men." >> that's a weird way to experience the show. >> jimmy: well, that's the great way to experience it. >> i'm not judging. >> jimmy: it is nuts -- it is nuts out there. but "mad men" changed everything for you. >> it sure did. yeah. no, it's -- you know there's been a lot of anticipation for it. we were off the air for quite some time. the network had to reshuffle things around in the schedule. >> jimmy: it's been 20 years since the last "mad men." >> it's been 20 years since the last "mad men." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: after "mad men" -- >> very weird. >> jimmy: you guys now own a diner. >> i can say, yeah. [ laughter ] me, vic tayback. >> jimmy: it is you and vic tayback. >> a very weird thing. >> jimmy: that is so good.
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>> rest in peace. >> jimmy: no, absolutely, yeah. it's a cgi thing. [ laughter ] you know -- >> it's his son, nick tayback. >> jimmy: he's just as good. >> just as good. >> jimmy: he's just as good. >> ornery. >> jimmy: when you -- when you get "mad men," did you just get it? your agent just said, "hey, you got this part. you did it." >> yeah, that's exactly what happened. you know how showbiz works. >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] >> they were like, "here's a guy that no one knows. let's give him a franchise." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: but i mean, no, what was that like? because that's a game changer for you. >> it was a -- it was indeed. and at a certain point, i realized, "okay, this is an incredible opportunity. but the process of getting there was incredibly involved. it was something, like, six or seven auditions. >> jimmy: wait, really? >> mostly in l.a., then fly me out here to meet the network people at amc. and -- >> jimmy: they didn't like -- who else was up for it? do you know? >> no -- you know, there have been a lot of rumors. i never saw anybody else. >> jimmy: kim kardashian? >> kim kardashian. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, all right. i knew she was up for it. and that's -- >> and she was so young. >> jimmy: she really was. >> and female. >> jimmy: i know. >> anyway -- [ laughter ] no, but they flew me out here to
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kind of meet the brass. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and that's just as terrifying as any other audition. and by that point, i'd literally read every piece in the pilot of the show. it was just an insane amount of -- >> jimmy: this is funny, though. because you go to the -- you go to some hotel party -- >> yeah, i know. so, we have -- i meet these people, and we're on the roof of the gansevoort hotel. beautiful day. not unlike today. like 70 degrees and sunny. gorgeous outside. and it's, like, an impromptu kind of cocktail party. and i'm like, "this is the weirdest audition process i've been a part of." >> jimmy: yeah. >> like, we're having cocktails. and finally, i'm sort of shaking hands and meeting these people thinking like, "well, no one's told me i've had the job yet." >> jimmy: yeah. >> i'm still -- there's still a whole thing. so i'm getting -- we have this thing and we're done and i go and i'm getting ready to leave and i'm in the elevator and i'm like, "that was weird." and the lady leans -- who was running the network at the time -- leans over and goes, "you know you have the job." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. >> in the elevator on the way down. i was like, "you couldn't have told me this on the way up?" [ laughter ] >> jimmy: the way down. leaving the party. >> the view would have been so much nicer.
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[ laughter ] maybe we would have stayed for another drink. have something to celebrate. >> jimmy: but then again -- but then, this is magic right here. >> and so -- and i'm like, "oh, wow, awesome. thank you so much. this is great." and there's one other guy in the elevator who i don't recognize, who's looking at me like, "you seem very happy about something." >> jimmy: yeah. >> and i say, "yes, yeah, thanks. hey, great." and the doors open at the bottom and there all these photographers down there. people are like, "oh my god hey." and i was like "wow, this is awesome. these people are here for me." and the guy in the elevator was international soccer star franz beckenbauer. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: and you're walking around like, "hey, everybody. hey, i'm a big star." i love that that happened to you. that is just genius. >> oh, all right. yeah. >> jimmy: it makes me laugh. >> it's crazy. it's crazy. >> jimmy: i look at the ads here. this is in subways here in new york city -- the ads from "mad men." look at that. >> stark. stark. >> jimmy: that's you falling from that -- from the building. at the beginning. >> you can imagine -- you can imagine the rest of it. >> jimmy: yeah. >> there's no -- you don't need to put anything else on that. >> jimmy: no. >> a single image and a date. >> jimmy: yes. but this is new york city. [ light laughter ] >> right.
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>> jimmy: new york city, there are graffiti artists here. and they're really fun and they're great. >> some bad. >> jimmy: so, yeah. here's you falling on a whale. [ laughter ] somebody drew. [ cheers and applause ] >> well, to be fair, the whale is breaking my fall. >> jimmy: breaking your fall here. >> and he's a very friendly whale. look at that smile. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: he is smiling. you know, whales have a thousand teeth. >> i did not know that. >> jimmy: hey, well, i just learned it now. here's this one. this one's actually real good. this is you, like, bmx flipping out on a bmx bike. [ laughter ] >> that's my shaun white-tony hawk style. >> jimmy: yeah. neither of those guys ride bmx bikes. >> yeah. [ laughter ] yeah. >> jimmy: neither of those men. >> they can. >> jimmy: they certainly can if they want to. >> "mad hoff-men." >> jimmy: that's very nice. that's very good. >> i go deep. >> jimmy: yeah. >> i go deep. >> jimmy: you really do go deep because here's the last one here. it's you going deep. there you go. right in the butt. [ laughter and applause ] >> right in the butt. >> jimmy: welcome to new york city. picasso, i think -- picasso did that. >> yup. >> jimmy: you guys, "mad men" is back sunday on amc. [ cheers and applause ] 9:00 pm, with a two-hour season premiere. when we come back, we're going to have a water war. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. i'm here with the great jon hamm and we are going to have a water war. now, this is just like the card game, war, okay? but with water. is that a good explanation? >> that's a very good explanation. >> jimmy: so, if you lose a hand, you get splashed in the face. we each have five cups of water. [ laughter ] the first one to use all his cups on the other guy wins and gets to water cannon the other gentleman. [ cheers and applause ] lots of ways to get wet, but only one way to win. jon, are you ready? >> i'm ready. >> jimmy: let's get -- let's get into war mode. ♪ [ laughter ] we just flip, right? or we do a one, two, three, flip?
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>> this is your show. >> jimmy: i know. [ laughter ] flip. flip. bang! oh, man! [ splash ] [ cheers and applause ] thank you so much for -- woo-hoo! yeah! [ cheers ] all right. >> oh, i guess that's high. >> jimmy: i think ace is high, yeah. oh, man! [ laughter ] [ applause ] oh, my god. this is just not -- >> i wore an extra absorbent tie today, by the way. [ talking over each other ] yeah, it is. by the way -- they are getting it back wet. >> jimmy: here we go. one, two, three.
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[ grunts ] >> oh. [ cheers and applause ] now it seems -- >> jimmy: come on, man. come on. >> that the shoe is on -- [ cheers and applause ] the other foot. the other foot. the other foot. >> jimmy: that's what you were gonna say. >> where are we putting these? >> jimmy: that one went up my nose. [ laughter ] all right. one, two, three. >> whoa. -- it's wet. what is it? >> jimmy: i'll tell you exactly what it is. >> i did not see a lot of paint on that card. oh, dear. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah! i just want to say to everyone, i hope they had -- [ applause ] >> oh, you missed. >> jimmy: i missed! >> you totally missed. >> jimmy: i did not miss. >> oh, you missed a little bit. >> jimmy: i did not miss. one -- [ laughter ] oh!
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>> i really -- a lot of -- a lot of -- a lot of game left. >> jimmy: now, now, now, now, "mad men" premieres sunday. >> yes, it does. >> jimmy: what time -- >> we're not -- we're not done. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: one, two, three. it looks good. it looks good. it looks good. looks real good. >> did it look that good? [ audience ohs ] [ cheers and applause ] >> i felt very confident. i felt very confident. >> jimmy: that one went down the -- that one went down the drawers -- that one. [ laughter ] one, two, three. [ audience ohs ] it's not looking good, my friend. >> or it's looking great.
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>> jimmy: yeah, i don't think it's looking great. [ laughter ] now, if i do this, this is wham and then a double-whammy. >> i -- once again, it is your show. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i forgot the rules. here we go, you guys. [ audience ohs ] thank you so much for coming on the show. ♪ hold on a second. [ cheers and applause ] >> oh, my god. [ drum roll ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you guys, "mad men" is back sunday at 9:00 on amc! jon hamm, everybody! rachael harris joins us next! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ with my facial hair, everything needs to be just right. growing these out any more,
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: i'm a mess. can you zoom in? can you zoom in on this eye? is it all red? it's totally crazy red eye. yeah, thank you. jon hamm did that. [ laughter ] that's what happens in a water war, man. our next guest this evening is a hilarious actress.
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you know her from movies like "the hangover." starting this friday in select theaters, you can see her award-winning performance in the new movie called "natural selection." please welcome back to our show rachael harris! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ you make me feel you make me feel you make me feel like a natural woman ♪ ♪ you make me feel you make me feel you make me feel like a natural woman ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: rachael, you look gorgeous. >> hi. thank you so much. >> jimmy: i gave you the double kiss, but i gave it on the same cheek. that's not what people do, right? >> no, no, no. you know, it's the norwegian way of kissing. >> jimmy: you go like muah and muah. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and i go muah, muah on the same cheek. >> right. [ light laughter ] did i -- did i block you? >> jimmy: no, you were fantastic. no, but you were just confused for a little bit. >> but i appreciated it. >> jimmy: yeah, you really did. >> yeah, i was confused, but it appreciate it. >> jimmy: i smell like old water thrown at me, yeah. >> you just got waterboarded. >> jimmy: yeah, i really -- [ laughter ]
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>> jon actually -- jon got totally waterboarded. >> jimmy: he really did get it. he got killed. >> he deserved it. >> jimmy: he really did. [ laughter ] >> it's war. >> jimmy: i want to talk to you about your movie. congratulations. >> thank you. >> jimmy: pal, you were killing it. you were amazing in this movie, "natural selection." >> thank you. >> jimmy: it was at last years south by southwest. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and it just took the festival by storm. it started winning crazy awards. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and you actually won an award. congratulations. >> thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i'm so happy for you. >> thank you. >> jimmy: i'm so happy for you. >> thank you. >> jimmy: but here's what -- what's great about this is -- the story is that how you accepted your award. >> yes. well, i had moved -- moved. i didn't move. >> jimmy: no. >> they were still in south by southwest in austin, texas, which is great. and i had to go back for work, so i was in los angeles. and i started getting texts from robbie pickering, our director. and the producer was saying, "my god, we are sweeping these awards." and they said, "we think you might win a breakthrough performance award." so -- >> jimmy: that's exciting. >> it was -- and i -- yes, i'm dying via text getting all of this, which was really exciting. and then -- so then, i get a call from robbie.
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and he's like, "hang on. hang on. i think you're going to win an award." so, i can hear it and they're like, "rachel harris wins for break through performance." and i'm like, "that's awesome." and then he's like, "i'm taking you up." i'm like, "what?" and takes the cell phone up to accept the award. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i love that. >> and he puts it up to the mic, and i start saying, "oh, my god." and, like, i'm crying and i'm like, "thank you so much south by southwest and janet pierson and everyone and the producers." and robbie -- robbie's like, "okay, wrap it up." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: your big moment. >> he's like, "this isn't the oscars. this is south by southwest." >> jimmy: it's still so cool, though. >> it was -- it was the hugest thing of my life. yeah. >> jimmy: congratulations. >> thank you. >> jimmy: i love that. it couldn't happen to a better person. >> thank you. >> jimmy: now, the movie -- do you want to explain what it's about? >> yes. well, it's a coming of age story for a woman in her 40s. hilarious. [ laughter ] no -- >> jimmy: already -- already, people are like -- >> your entire audience is like, "we're there." no, um -- >> jimmy: 14-year-old girl is like, "that sounds awesome." >> no, but there is -- there is some mild nudity and some sexual situations.
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[ cheers and applause ] i know. not that your crowd isn't into, like, "jane eyre" and all those kinds of things. >> jimmy: no, they love that. >> let's be honest. let's be honest. >> jimmy: we're going to "jane eyre" screening right after this. >> fantastic. >> jimmy: in 3-d, y'all! >> what? >> jimmy: yeah! [ cheers ] >> all right, so it's -- a road trip movie where a woman finds out -- she and her husband haven't had sex in 25 years. >> jimmy: awesome. >> and she's 40, which is so sexy. [ laughter ] and so she finds out that her husband has been donating to a sperm bank all these years, so he's sort of been cheating on her. you know, 'cause he's been doing things to achieve that. to get sperm into a cup. >> jimmy: absolutely. >> and so -- and so, she finds this out and she feels like she's inadequate. so she has him -- she goes on a road trip across the country to find her -- to find one of his children to bring back. played by the amazing matt o'leary. >> jimmy: you have a clip here of you finding who you -- may or may not be his son. >> right. exactly. >> jimmy: and he's -- this is weird. he's a weirdo. >> hilarity ensues. >> jimmy: here's a clip from "natural selection." rachael harris.
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>> are you a -- cop? >> no. no, i am not a cop. >> i let you in here, and a bunch of cops rush in -- >> yes. >> i'm going to stab you in the face. you know what that feels like? >> no. but i assure you, you will not need to go to those lengths. >> all right. five minutes. no jesus -- comprende? >> yes. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: comprende. >> comprende. >> jimmy: you know what that feels like? no. i do not. >> no. no, i do not. i do not know what it's like -- >> jimmy: now, last time -- rachael harris, last time you were on our show, we did a thing called a "break off." >> a "break off." >> jimmy: now, this is your idea. >> yep. >> jimmy: and you want to explain what this was? this game? >> yes. okay, so this game originated because i had seen you on "snl" doing sketches, and i grew up -- i grew up. i was in the groundlings for years and whenever you do sketches, sometimes your scene partners kind of give you the giggles. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and you break character. like, you know when you're on "carol burnett," and you see
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them do scenes and you break. and sometimes it's funny for the actors that are on the stage, but by and large, it's not fun for the other performers. they kind of hate you. >> jimmy: yeah. >> for breaking in the middle of a scene. so, what we did last time is we did a scene from the hilarious "kramer vs. kramer." >> jimmy: that's correct. >> and we tried to see who was going to break first. >> jimmy: exactly. >> and so what we're going to do tonight, is we're going to do another "break off" but only this time, to music. >> jimmy: all right, here we go. >> and it is a duet. should we say what it is? >> jimmy: sure. >> it's a duet made famous by barbara streisand and neil -- neil diamond, called "you don't bring me flowers." [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: here we go. roots? >> get ready 'cause you're going down. ♪ >> jimmy: do i have to look at you? >> oh, you are so serious. you don't have to -- do whatever you want. ♪ you don't bring me flowers and you don't don't sing me love songs ♪
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>> where you going? where you going? ♪ you hardly talk to me anymore ♪ [ laughter ] ♪ when i come through the door at the end of the day ♪ [ laughter ] ♪ i remember when you couldn't wait to love me you used to hate to leave ♪ >> don't do it. >> jimmy: i'm not. ♪ now after loving me late at night well it's good -- ♪ >> you blew my hair back. >> jimmy: blow your hair back? >> you blew my hair back. >> jimmy: oh. ♪ for you babe >> yep. ♪ you're feeling all right ♪ ♪ well you don't roll over ♪ >> not breaking. ♪ and turn out the lights [ laughter ]
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♪ you don't bring me flowers >> you're laughing. ♪ anymore [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you got this one. >> i win again. >> jimmy: rachael harris, everybody. >> thank you. >> jimmy: "natural selection" is in theaters right now. marcus foster performs next. [ cheers and applause ] you can't touch my face. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ female announcer ] with swiffer wet cleaning better doesn't have to take longer. i'm done. i'm gonna...use these. ♪ give me just a little more time ♪ [ female announcer ] unlike mops, swiffer can maneuver into tight spaces without the hassle and its wet mopping cloths can clean better in half the time, so you don't miss a thing. mom? ahhhh! ahhhh! no it's mommy! [ female announcer ] swiffer. better clean in half the time. or your money back.
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the game's on behind me, right? yup. [ male announcer ] come in tonight for our zesty bourbon street chicken & shrimp. or our new blackened chicken penne. one appetizer, two entrees, 20 bucks. only at applebee's. now serving half-price appetizers late night. we're testing new degree, the only antiperspirant activated directly by movement. activating protection, bear! it releases bursts of protection as you move feeling fresh and dry bear! the more you move, the more it works [ roars ] oh, no! [ screaming ] new long lasting degree with motionsense. help me! keep running!
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest is an english singer-songwriter who is making his u.s. tv debut with us tonight. [ cheers and applause ] to perform the song, "shadows of the city," from his album, "nameless path," please welcome marcus foster! [cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ oh the streets bleeding out for a real dream that's not filled with unmarked
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bills when the moon turns ♪ ♪ its back to let off steam you're faced with a cold chill ♪ ♪ there's a bird at the window smoke in its eye singing off key ♪ ♪ there's a wounded girl with her heart shaped shoe in the shadows in the shadows ♪ ♪ in the shadows of the city in the shadows of the city ♪ ♪
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♪ ♪ well the trains are half empty with faces that try to break off their chains bound by the sound of the ♪ ♪ screaming dawn that is all their name there's a madman throwing stones at the streetlight coming through ♪ ♪ a torn out shade there's a small yellow river by the fallen tree in the shadows ♪ ♪ in the shadows in the shadows of the city in the shadows ♪ ♪ of the city
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you can feel the air breathing down your neck like a ghost standing by ♪ ♪ your side flashing white teeth by the silent road he's lookin for a place to hide ♪ ♪ rain cold woman with a knife in her hand and a shovel on the grassy ground catch a left eye you can ♪ ♪ hear the sound of the shadows in the shadows in the shadows of the city ♪ ♪ in the shadows of the city shadows in the shadows ♪ ♪
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♪ ♪ ooh ooh ♪ ♪ ♪ shadows [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: marcus foster! how about that? check out his album, "nameless path." see him live on wednesday in new york. we'll be right back, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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